So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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