I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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