Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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