My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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