My first STD was from a foam party
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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