i wish my penis had a tongue
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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