I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
