kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
