Yo dont text me then not text me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
