i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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