Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize