I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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