can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
there was a trapeze. enough said
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
