tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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