Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
