In the future we'll all be gay
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
