I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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