we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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