i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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