I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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