It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
