Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
