He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
