i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
