i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
