only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize