when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We need to rekindle our bromance
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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