the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Why did my mother make you get naked?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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