...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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