His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
