the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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