Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
