he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
