He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
