i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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