I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
