I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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