Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
