so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
