so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
