i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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