Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
