If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
