You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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