she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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