Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
