Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
