Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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