5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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