This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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