I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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