ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
