Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
