Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
