there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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