Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
