Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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