apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize