I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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