so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize