she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
