in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize