You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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