We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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