Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
