I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
