He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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