I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
