why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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