i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just googled if crying burns calories
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
