Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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