I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
