so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
