That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
