ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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