Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize