you guys were way drunker than both of me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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